What Is True Strength?
Not long ago, I sat in my small dorm room Facetiming with my sister and brother-in-law. We were talking about how college life is going for me and how life is going for them after a recent move. In the course of the conversation, we started talking about some of the struggles we face and this question came up: what is true strength in the middle of those struggles?
That question is one I’ve started to give a lot of thought to in my transition to college. Why? It seems like everyone around me is pursuing strength. I mean, people come to college to continue their career preparation and gain the skills and experience necessary to become adults. People are striving to be strong- strong students, strong athletes, strong speakers, strong job candidates, strong sisters, strong leaders, strong Christians-the list goes on and on.
We all want to be “strong” people. But what does that truly mean?
Strength is defined in so many ways by the world around us. I would venture to say that in general, strength is understood to mean possessing control.
Think about it for a moment. When we think of someone with a “strong body”, we think of someone who is able to control their muscles, movements, reactions and abilities at some level. Someone with a “strong” speaking ability is able to control their pace, nerves, and presentation. I think I would speak for most of us if I say that we tend to associate strength with control.
But what if strength is actually the very opposite of control?
What if strength is not actually maintaining perfect control of the things in our lives but is actually the release of that control to the Spirit of God?
If we surrender that strangle-hold we try to have on our lives and begin to live into what God says about us being worthy, what would happen? Perhaps our peace and joy wouldn’t shift so much when we move cities or start that new job. Perhaps our strength would not be contingent on having control of our lives, and we would become people whose purpose is not swayed with the changing of the seasons. I don’t know about you, but that idea completely flips the logic of what I’ve always thought of strength as, and the Bible seems to suggest that Jesus has a habit of turning our logic upside down (see 1 Corinthians 3:19).
So if true strength is actually the release of control to our Father, what does that mean for us in our daily lives?
Comparison: Thriving on Control-Based Strength
For a long time, I’ve envisioned being “strong” as having perfect control. Having control of how my body looks, how much money I make, even the relationships I’m a part of-those things made up my idea of strength. Coming to college has put this definition of control-based strength under the microscope, and things don’t look good.
In coming to college, I imagined it was the time to finally get to control all the aspects of my life (both consciously and subconsciously). I mean, I now get to make decisions about what I study, when I workout, the places I go, ect. If strength is control, strength should have showed up when I got to OSU, right? Wrong.
Instead of strength and control showing up, comparison showed up.
Comparison is this mindset of judging your individual worth based on your performance against the standard of the performances of others.
So, if I got better grades than my classmate, comparison says that I’m worth more than him. If I weigh more than the girl next to me on the treadmill, comparison says that I’m less valuable than her. Why? Because with a mindset of comparison, how we measure up against others is the determinant of our value.
This idea of control-based strength thrives on a mindset of comparison because we gain or lose strength based on the amount of control we have relative to the people around us.
As I moved to Stillwater, I’ve been surrounded by people who seem to have control in areas that I don’t (ok, maybe that happens everywhere you go). And as I’ve been defining strength as having control, it means that every person I see with more “control” than me in an area has become an area that I don’t believe I’m valuable in. To be honest, I’ve struggled with this. I’ve compared myself to others in all kinds of areas, whether it’s body image, grades, or even spiritual maturity!
It creates shame, pain, lack of confidence, pride and apathy (among other things). Comparison is like playing with fire - you get burned every time.
But, there is good news, so keep reading!
Comparison: Thrown Off with the Truth
Not believing that we as individuals are valuable is a destructive and painful road, not to mention that it’s a sin. God has made us uniquely to reflect and represent His image and His character, and He has deemed us worthy of His very Son’s life. For us to believe we are not valuable is to directly contradict what He has said is true.
If I believe that true strength is one of releasing control to Jesus and being grounded in who He says I am as His child, comparison doesn’t get to stick around. That old way of assigning value to myself and to other people has to be laid down because it simply holds no weight in light of the truth that God has laid out in His Word.
If I want to walk in true strength as a child of God, it means the death of comparison in the way I operate.
If we are followers of Christ, the Holy Spirit is actively working in us to make us more like Jesus. He is redeeming the old ways of thinking about strength in our lives, and we get to partner with Him in this thing called sanctification. I’m learning that my part in throwing off comparison has two really important components:
1. Actively Participating in biblical Community: when I work intentionally to be honest and vulnerable in relationships, those brothers and sisters around me can call me out in love when I act with a mindset of comparison. They can also encourage me towards walking in true strength and remind me of what the Father has said about me. It’s my responsibility to be engaging in those relationships and be open to correction where I need it. Comparison cannot thrive in true community.
2. Actively Reminding Myself of the Truth: when I work to remind myself of the truth of what God says about me through reading the Word consistently and identifying areas I’ve been walking in lies, comparison cannot thrive. Taking personal responsibility of knowing what God says about me through the Bible and being willing to do the hard work of rooting out lies in my framework is a huge part of throwing off a spirit of comparison.
Strength is not having control of all the elements in our lives. Strength is giving that control up to Father who loves us and calls His beloved children. I want that kind of strength, even as it means working to throw off a mindset of comparison. What kind of people could we become if we embraced that truth? Let’s find out together.
-Rachel
If you have any kind of feedback or would like to talk about anything in this article, I’d love to connect with you! Feel free to message me on Instagram (@rachel_madden99) , Twitter (@rachel.madden11) , Facebook or email me at rachelmadden99@gmail.com! I can’t wait to hear from you!
