Is Healthy Social Media Possible?
A helpful and honest talk about social media.
[Part of “The Interviews” — Topics by You, Written about You]
Buzz, buzz. Click. Scroll. Thud.
Although I hate to admit it, that was the soundtrack not long ago in my life. My phone buzzed. I unlocked it and scrolled. That thud? Oh, that was just my jaw hitting the floor when the ScreenTime feature on my phone informed me that I just checked my phone for the 104th time.
Thud. That one was probably yours.
I didn’t think that I could have given my phone my attention 104 times in one day. But that stat had no room for excuses. We know that social media is an issue, and if I’m being honest, it’s not just someone else’s problem — it’s mine.
So, what are we supposed to do about it?
I’ve realized that social media is one of those grey issues that is more complicated than it looks. Fortunately, I know someone who has more experience than me in so many areas.
Let me introduce you to Rachel Vincent.
Besides having one of my favorite names, Rachel is one of the wisest and most mature women I know. I’ve loved getting to know Rachel through The Table, the campus ministry she helps lead so well. Rachel is married to Ryan & is a mom to two adorable kids with one more on the way!
Not long ago, Rachel and I sat together at the Table’s Winter Retreat, and we talked about social media. Her wisdom and insight really challenged me, so I asked her if we could talk more. We met up at the park while the kids played so I could ask Rachel a few questions. Here’s what she said!
Q: What is one thing you really enjoy about social media?
Rachel: I really enjoy being encouraged by Christian community on social media! For different seasons of my life, like when I was a young mom, I really appreciated being able to connect with other women when I couldn’t get out of the house easily!
Q: What is one thing you really hate about social media?
Rachel: One thing I hate is that it can also keep us from connecting with people. It can sometimes be a form of escapism for us if we find ourselves being stressed and turning to our phones or social media to escape (rather than calling a friend or praying through it). That can lead to some dangerous habits and anxiety I think.
Q: As a Christian, how do you engage or not engage with social media?
Rachel: I try to be authentic, and I don’t hide the fact that I follow Jesus. I work to share encouraging things, but as far as sharing controversial or political things go, I try to have those conversations in person. I work to be careful about how I engage with those things and weigh how it will advance the Kingdom and how effectively it does that.
Q: What are some ways you’ve worked to use social media in healthy ways in your own life?
Rachel: I try to follow blogs or people that I know, respect and learn from, especially spiritual leaders I look up to. I also set some limits for myself because I know it can be a distraction for me. I took the app off my phone, so that forced me to go to an actual computer to use social media. I’ve gained more awareness of how much time I spend on it that way!
Q: What advice would you give to people (especially teens and college students) about evaluating how we use social media?
Rachel: I think if we find ourselves looking to social media for community, that’s not healthy. We can sometimes convince ourselves we’re more connected than we are, or that our identities are made up of what people think about us. We don’t need to hold onto those delusions about who we are or who we’re connected with, so we need to be on the look out for that!
Q: What do you think about people who say we should just give up social media instead of engaging with it?
Rachel: I think that extremes & generalizations aren’t always wise, but if social media is a really difficult thing, deleting it might be good, even if just for a while. But, if we can learn to set healthy limits for ourselves & work to use it wisely, it can be a gift to engage with others in life-giving ways. We have to be aware of our tendencies to use it in unhealthy ways.
Practical Tips
From my time at the park with Rachel & my own journey of trying use social media in a healthy way, here are a few tips to help us!
- Don’t start the morning scrolling. Similar to if you’re trying to wake up early, charging your phone across the room helps to avoid rolling over to scroll after you wake up. Mornings set the tone for your day!
- Set time limits. If you have an iPhone, set a limit for how long you can use social media apps. Ask someone else to create a password so you can’t override it, and it will keep you aware of time you spend on social media. This way, you use your time intentionally, rather than just scrolling during your downtime.
- Take a look at who you follow. If the people you follow don’t post life-giving things, it may be time to give them a break. If you follow enough people to keep your feed ever-updating, that can increase the temptation to always check the new content. Be selective about what & how much content you allow to be in your mind each day.
- Take a break from social media. At the beginning of this semester, I gave social media a two-week break (it was hard!). I did more thinking and interacting with people, and I started to be more present in each moment. Try it for an hour, a day, a week or a month to see how your heart & mind feel during and afterwards.
Social media is a gift to engage, to share and to invite others into what’s going on in our lives. But, I know (from my own experience!) that it can also be a distraction or obsession that keeps us from the people we’re with or what God is doing in the seemingly boring moments. We can learn to use social media in ways that are life-giving and freeing while also leveraging a great tool to connect with others!
Let’s start using social media in better ways.
-Rachel (the other one)
A huge thanks to Rachel Vincent for sharing her wisdom and time with me for this piece!
What did you think? Let me know in the response section below or by giving claps! If you have any feedback, questions or would just like to talk, I’d love to connect with you! Feel free to DM me on Instagram (@rachel_madden99), Twitter (@rachel.madden11), or on Facebook! I can’t wait to hear from you!
