Bedroom to Dorm Room: Lessons of Transition
A little over two weeks ago, my life changed a little bit. Ok, actually more than a little! Why? I went to college! In a matter of a few days, my whole life changed. I went from being a high schooler to a college student, from living at home to on my own, from living in Texas to Oklahoma (and not to worry Texas folks, I’ll always be a Texan). As I started this new season of life in Stillwater, so many challenges and opportunities have come with it.
In life, there are so many transitions. Whether it’s transitioning into a new city, a new relationship, a new job or a new career, transitions happen in our lives fairly often. But here’s the thing, transitions can be hard. They can be exciting, challenging and overwhelming all at the same time. As I’ve been walking through this big transition in my life, the Lord has been teaching me quite a lot. Let me share a few of things that I’ve learned about transitions because of my move to college in the past couple weeks.
1. The Role of Rhythms
Rhythms. Am I talking about the rhythms in a jazz piece? Not quite. Here’s what I mean when I say rhythms. Rhythms are the structured activities, habits, and relationships that we consistently invest our time and energy into. These things differ from person to person, but it could be things like working out, spending time in the Word, date nights, or hobbies. Whatever these activities are, if we invest our time and energy into them, they are the rhythms that our lives follow. Ultimately, whatever rhythms we choose to prioritize, they will shape the people we are and who we become.
So, now that we know what rhythms are, we can understand a little better what happens to those rhythms when you move or change seasons of life. When I went to college, all my normal rhythms changed. My daily schedule, my work hours, my school assignments, my relationships and all my other rhythms changed pretty drastically. I went from having established times of working out and places I went to, to having none of those! The absence of established rhythms in my life has been really challenging because when all the familiar things in your life aren’t there, you really start to see where your identity lies.
Eventually, a new normal in my life will be established. I will find new places to go, new friendships to invest in, new rhythms.
But until that point, I’ve come back to the truth that my identity is not based on the presence of rhythms in my life, it’s based on the presence of God.
The role of rhythms is to help structure our lives in healthy ways, but they cannot hold the weight of our identities. He has said that I am His beloved daughter, and that is my deepest and truest identity. So even if I wander around classroom buildings or overuse my GPS for a while, I’ve learned that the role of rhythms is for healthiness, not for identity.
2. The Power of Learning
Learning. It’s what I came to college to do. I came to Oklahoma State University to learn the ins and outs of marketing and management with the goal of getting a business degree on the road to a job. I’m currently enrolled in business classes, and I’m learning about marketing position, business information systems, and the structure of organizations. I think that all of that is fascinating, but it’s not the majority of learning I’m doing right now.
Right now, I’m learning that I have a lot to learn. For example, in the first few days of being in Stillwater, the list of things I had to learn ranged from small to big items. Here’s a few if you’re interested:
- Dishes don’t do themselves.
- OSU’s campus is easy to get lost on.
- My parents either get lucky a lot, or they are just right a lot.
Ok, so those are pretty funny things I’ve had to figure out the hard way, but in every aspect of my life, I’ve determined that I want to be a student. As I’ve sat in rooms with older college students, talked on the phone to my parents and mentor, or opened my Bible, I’ve realized that I don’t know very much. I’m not all that experienced at this thing called life, and that’s ok. The thing is, I get to learn about all of it right now.
So as I enter my classes, bible studies, coffee runs, and friendships, I’m looking to stay a student. I want to be teachable, to learn how to apply the advice from my community, to learn what it means to be responsible, to learn how to make wise decisions. I’ve realized that being the youngest one in the room isn’t a bad thing, it just means I need to have my notepad ready to learn.
I have a feeling that when I listen in order to learn, I’ll be able to hear a lot more clearly than when I think I know it all.
3. Community Matters
Community. In my management class, they defined community as the group of people affected by a company’s decisions. That works well for business, but community for me is so much more than that. Community is the network of Gospel relationships in which we open ourselves up to being known, to being accountable and to be loved, all of which we also reciprocate. It’s kind of a big deal, and what I’ve learned here in Stillwater is that community matters so much.
Coming to Stillwater, I had the advantage of knowing a few people already. I knew people’s names, had maybe spent some limited time with them (aside from my brother Aaron, I’ve spent a life time with him haha!), and they may have known me as the next Madden to attend OSU. But, there’s a big difference in knowing who someone is and knowing someone. In my two weeks in Oklahoma, I’ve gone on several coffee runs, watched movies, played volleyball and sat across from so many people as I build relationships with them. The connection of being sons and daughters of the King brings life above any shared hobbies.
And even though it will take time to truly know the people I’m doing life with here in Stillwater, building community where I am is so important. It would be easier to just go to events and never plug in, to never share the struggles of loneliness or of being overwhelmed. But community shapes who we are, and as I start out here at OSU, I’m convinced that fighting for new community here is worth it.
It’s time-consuming and challenging, but finding and building community in transition matters so much.
College is a big adventure of trying new things, and I love those opportunities. But until I get fully settled in here (or as much as you can in a dorm room I suppose), I’m content with remembering that the role of rhythms is for healthiness, not identity, that learning is powerful, and that community matters deeply. I have so much left to learn, and I’m excited to see what the future holds as I continue to transition from my bedroom to my dorm room.
-Rachel
If you have questions, feedback or just want to connect, I’d love to talk! You can direct message me on Instagram (@rachel_madden99 ), Twitter (@rachelmadden11 ) or Facebook! I can’t wait to connect with you!
